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I LEARNED

 What was it?
an escape?
Meditation?
Adventure?
Solitude?
Desire?

     All of these questions I asked myself during the past weekend, a weekend like no other, 16th,17, and 18th of March I had the very first experience of camping in Cyprus. To be honest, it was the best weekend I ever had, but during that time, I tried my to spend some of the time alone, because you can only start thinking whenever you’re alone.

     We had an extreme hike, it was for 30-39km. We traveled from place to another, all by using our feet only. It really was wonderful, and very challenging. I really learned new things, experiences, met new people, and overall had a superb time. These are the answers to the very first question “What was it”.

     An escape from reality, and as the organizer said: "we escaped from civilization”. It really hit me hard the thought and the fact that I’m not in the city anymore, and I’m nowhere capable to escape this place (the place where we camped is called Karpaz). Did I escape from the city? from the people? or from the world? I started questioning myself, and not finding any answers, my head is so blurred, and my thoughts were very messed up. Till this day I just can’t get myself to work. Yet I discovered that I really needed this escape, to refocus & readjust myself.

     Was it’s sole purpose for meditating? It was extremely adventurous and tough for some, but for me, it was for  meditation. Challenges especially hard physical ones meditate me because through them I forget my surrounds and just focus on how much my body can give. Is it up for the challenge that it’s facing or not. Is it going to betray me or not? I’ve always been a physical person and likes all kind of sports, and I’ve always known that activity is my meditation. Is this why yoga was invented? I don't know. 

     The moment some of us hear the word camping, our minds immediately see it equivalent to adventure. The word adventure doesn't necessarily mean that it’s specifically for physical adventures. As a person who has OCD tendencies, it was quite an adventure to challenge myself and go through all the dirt, and having to use the mother nature for certain purposes. I learned that I can overcome anything, which was quite adventurous to forget about your home, and just live as one with nature.

     At some point I would leave everyone and go sit alone, or even head up in-front and like just a few steps away from the organizer/leader. I wanted these solo moments, more like I needed them. I'm a big believer is solitude, I’m a loner, and will always be one. I’ve learned that I live for independence, to the point were at some point I discovered that I don’t even need anyone. I’m a big girl, and after this camp, I really started believing in myself. The calmness, that you feel when you’re sitting alone, the sound of your surroundings, noises from others, and just enjoying your own company. Solitude is my biggest privilege that I've always appreciated and enjoyed.

     The desire you feel, from the place, is astonishing. I didn’t even want to go back. I know that the word desire has been stained with the sexual desire context, but the desire to live means a lot to me. The desire of understanding your friends more, the desire of weak a friend can be and learn about a whole new face. The desire of meeting new people, the desire of how accepting & understanding people can be, and finally the desire of helping one another. You see most of us forget that the word desire can fit in more context, than the sexual ones. I love desire.

     In the end, I learned that I was trying my best to keep myself inside a very unsafe box. There’s a very big world standing right in front each one of us. Believe in yourself, and in your body. Thrive for solitude, and start your journey. Best regards.

Photo courtesy of Asma Haddad ©