Dear Off to Venus, 

You know me personally, and so do I. But let's just keep it anonymous and honest here. I am not sure if this was what you were willing to hear about the "Relationship Menu" but here's what want to share. 

Love is real, passion is there, and whoever feels it is lucky. I was lucky enough to feel passionate and in love with a guy that wasn't even from my community, not having the same religious thoughts, and came from different backgrounds in general. But that what kept me very very interested in him. It's our difference. It's how much love I had to small talks with him. His voice, his mind, his thoughts, even his appearance. Btw, you know this "love is blind" kinda shit? Yes, it's true. I was blind and I knew I was skipping a million toxic and negative things about him but I always thought that the love I have for him is above all. I want to live with a person that sparks up my life every time I see him. 

One thing you should know about me is that, when I love, I give my all. ALL. I had too many emotions for him. He left because he thought he was toxic. But I fought for him, many times. I showed support. I loved him when he didn't care about me. I believed in him when he didn't believe in himself. 

He broke my heart. 

But as I said, love is real. And when it hits you will start thinking in all possible ways to make him feel the same towards you. I knew he loved me, but it wasn't enough. I keep thinking what wrong did I do? Should I keep fighting and talking to him? Should I be the person who fights for love???
Or should I be concerned about my dignity? 

To conclude, Love can be our greatest strength and our deepest weakness. Relationships are important because they make us feel stuff that we didn't know we would actually feel. Relationships teach us a lot, you will never be able to forget it, you just learn how to cope with the scar. 

It's just نصيب.


Much love to you Asma. 


To view the artwork, make sure to check the instagram page here

Hello, everyone, I guess it’s been a month since the last time I posted something of my own. I decided to share some of my amazing friend's thoughts because sometimes reading the thoughts of others, heals you secretly inside.

Well, firstly I would love to congratulate those who did hajj, secondly Happy belated Eid. As you can see summer is over for most us, although mine didn’t end yet.

I will hopefully dedicate a whole blog for this summer because I experienced a lot of my “first times”.

But for this blog, it’s going to be for something else. Let’s say this blog is for someone who is very dear to my heart.

Furthermore, please read the words that are spilled from my heart.

I remember vividly the very first time we sat together, although unfortunately, that place closed down for good.
Nevertheless, it holds a lot of memories of ours.
“What do you think of the LGBTQ ?”
As I answered, I know right away that I’ve found her, the person that I’ve always been searching for.
A person who won’t judge me, or judge my thoughts, the thoughts that I’ve kept hiding for too long.
Because I know that I come from a society that is very judgmental just for being different.

Our minds clicked.
We started hanging out.
We enjoyed the silent moments that we shared at our favorite cafe called Gloria.
We were both new to this independent world.
We backed each other up.
And believed in each other.

She was better than me in putting her feelings into words, I guess I always went to her to hear the things that I needed the most. She was there for me.
Her existence alone made me feel safe.
She was my guardian angel.

Thus far, sometimes any friendship can have a quarrel, I selfishly decided that we both need a break to sort our feelings and thoughts out.

I became disoriented.
I was slowly drifting away from my guardian angel. However, she was always on my mind.
I was at Makkah, and as I was doing Duaa.
She popped into my head.

I'm not the sweetest person, in fact, I'm arrogant and very apprehensive.
I like hearing the negativity, and face things head on, call me a violent person. I don’t care.
The only thing I had in my mind was, I need her.
I decided to solve things between us because we both are meant for each other.

We came back stronger than we used to be.
I mean how can you survive without your best friend?
You just can’t.

But.
I stumbled again,
again, and again.

We didn’t fight or any of that sort.

Simply, we don’t hang out as much as we used to do, and that really bothers me. I enjoy our hangouts the most. ( although we literally text each other 24/7 )

Lastly, I would apologize for anything that I’ve ever done that would have bothered you by any chance. I'm really sorry for not saying these words out loud, but you know better than anyone else. I live on by trying to deny my feelings. But I would never deny my feelings towards you.


                                                                                                            Sincerely your friend,    
                                                                                                                     BFF, and sister.
                                                                                                                      Asma Haddad