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UNTITLED

Hello, everyone, I guess it’s been a month since the last time I posted something of my own. I decided to share some of my amazing friend's thoughts because sometimes reading the thoughts of others, heals you secretly inside.

Well, firstly I would love to congratulate those who did hajj, secondly Happy belated Eid. As you can see summer is over for most us, although mine didn’t end yet.

I will hopefully dedicate a whole blog for this summer because I experienced a lot of my “first times”.

But for this blog, it’s going to be for something else. Let’s say this blog is for someone who is very dear to my heart.

Furthermore, please read the words that are spilled from my heart.

I remember vividly the very first time we sat together, although unfortunately, that place closed down for good.
Nevertheless, it holds a lot of memories of ours.
“What do you think of the LGBTQ ?”
As I answered, I know right away that I’ve found her, the person that I’ve always been searching for.
A person who won’t judge me, or judge my thoughts, the thoughts that I’ve kept hiding for too long.
Because I know that I come from a society that is very judgmental just for being different.

Our minds clicked.
We started hanging out.
We enjoyed the silent moments that we shared at our favorite cafe called Gloria.
We were both new to this independent world.
We backed each other up.
And believed in each other.

She was better than me in putting her feelings into words, I guess I always went to her to hear the things that I needed the most. She was there for me.
Her existence alone made me feel safe.
She was my guardian angel.

Thus far, sometimes any friendship can have a quarrel, I selfishly decided that we both need a break to sort our feelings and thoughts out.

I became disoriented.
I was slowly drifting away from my guardian angel. However, she was always on my mind.
I was at Makkah, and as I was doing Duaa.
She popped into my head.

I'm not the sweetest person, in fact, I'm arrogant and very apprehensive.
I like hearing the negativity, and face things head on, call me a violent person. I don’t care.
The only thing I had in my mind was, I need her.
I decided to solve things between us because we both are meant for each other.

We came back stronger than we used to be.
I mean how can you survive without your best friend?
You just can’t.

But.
I stumbled again,
again, and again.

We didn’t fight or any of that sort.

Simply, we don’t hang out as much as we used to do, and that really bothers me. I enjoy our hangouts the most. ( although we literally text each other 24/7 )

Lastly, I would apologize for anything that I’ve ever done that would have bothered you by any chance. I'm really sorry for not saying these words out loud, but you know better than anyone else. I live on by trying to deny my feelings. But I would never deny my feelings towards you.


                                                                                                            Sincerely your friend,    
                                                                                                                     BFF, and sister.
                                                                                                                      Asma Haddad                             

Photo courtesy of Tumblr.