My 6th semester just finished, and it feels super weird. It was like a flash, as I am right now sitting on the plane heading back home, it just feels like I’m actually about to go to my University from summer vacation. Everything was rapid, I don’t even know how to handle it. Now that I just finished my junior year, and am about to be a senior, it just feels sad. I’m not very happy about it, yet shit is real, and life has to move on.

As I mentioned to my bestie Ann a few days back, that this semester was my second favorite out of all the entire semesters, I have spent over there. It was loud, and quite. Ups and downs. Solitude and fellowship. Experience and ignorance. Work and dormancy. Aggression and pacifism. ​These are just a few words that describe how the semester went.

I had visions, not about aliens, not about the future, but ideas of how my projects should look like.  I have finally become one with my field, I have finally started to think visually like pro Illustrators. Not on the same level, but I did do few works, where I just had the idea in my head, sketched, and then ta-da it’s digital. I have always had a thing for computer graphics, I’ve always believed that Art is my thing, this is why I never swayed, or even turned my eyes to anything else. In case you don’t know, I’m currently majoring in Visual Arts and Visual Communication Design. 

Now here’s the thing one of the projects, that I have done is called Citizens of the World. I believe that some of you only bothered, to open this site, just to grab their photos, and you have every right too. Guess what? Even though I’m writing this on the 13th of Jan, but it will be uploaded Inchallah on the 15th just as promised. As you are reading this, if your picture was taken, please go to the Work page, which you can find it up on top of the page. You will see your picture there, and if you want it in color, please email me with your picture in small size, then I will email you the colored one.

It all starts with a push, not from anyone, but from yourself. You are the only one who can push yourself to do something. Even if you did something to someone else, you do it because “you” love them, and you don’t want anything in return. You just act that way because you appreciate, what you have for them. Respect is something that is very rare nowadays but let me tell you this. I recently discovered that sometimes I do things not out of respect to the person, but out of me respecting my feelings towards that person. You see, you need to start seeing your inner being, and start understanding who you are from the inside out. Bring peace to yourself, by your salutations to yourself.

I’m sorry for always talking about “you,” yourself, and oneself. However, I’ve noticed recently that most of us forgot the fact that the society is making us drift from who we indeed are, and what purpose we wanted to do. It’s like we are all in this void, forgetting to put time for ourselves, and discover our real potential.

I guess this is it for now, and by the way, this was the very first time I ever write any of my blogs on the computer immediately, without any paper draft. I guess technology will be taking over me soon; I hope not.

Until next blog...

There’s something so beautiful about _______________.

I wrote this statement a while back on Facebook, yet no one could fill it.

There’s something so beautiful about sitting alone.

The very first step you take as your stomach is growling for food and your brain is in desperate need of coffee.

You look around for some of your friends to accompany you, but then they are very busy. So you decide to take a bigger step and go to the restaurant alone.

As you’re walking there, you start having a lot of doubts, and insecurity starts hitting you up. What are people going to say, if any of them I know saw me sitting alone, what are they going to think? How would I look like to the society? A loner? Pathetic? Anti-Social?

You still buckle yourself up and reach the restaurant, you hold the tray get some food, a drink and you’re done. Now comes the hard which is sitting, most of the single people will search for the most cornered table, and sit there, all alone.

Can you imagine how beautiful this is for me?

Indulging in the society without having anyone else around, you in your world, gazing at everyone, thinking about many things that are inside of your head. Trying to connect the dots on every table that is occupied within that small space. Attempting to understand what is going on around you, watching people come and go. Eating slowly, while sipping your drink, hearing your mouth as it is doing the action. Isn’t that just you, a cell, in this big world?

Sometimes you put your earphones on, to listen to music, or like me a podcast. If you want to have the full experience you need to not listen to anything other than the real world. Feel the air as it hits, people talking, the clicking of the forks, the sound “KA-CHAK” as they place their coffee back on the tables. Enjoy every moment, and every sound you hear. 

Don’t worry about if people will judge you or not because even if they did let’s say, is it gonna change anything for you? Is it gonna solve the whole idea of the dark matter? It will do nothing more nothing less. Society is nothing; you’re everything.

Believe in yourself, start by understanding who you’re, spend some time alone with yourself. Because “you” what matters the most. So what if you’re sitting alone? Can’t a person enjoy their own company? Of course, you can.

Sitting alone can boost your self-confidence, because when you understand “you” there’s a lot of magical things will happen. Have faith and believe in yourself.

Because “you” will always
be there for “you.”

hello there 2018
and my kisses shall say my goodbyes to 2017

What a year, 2017 for me it already started in the weirdest way possible, yet thank God I still survived, in a way or another.

As everyone says, it was a rollercoaster, and indeed it was.

I went through many episodes, of all kinds.

Different phases, different moods, various friends, and different people.

I had a lot of “ change of mind “ kind of thoughts, for example, I always used to think that age plays a significant role of how mature a person can be, but thanks to some of you for proving me wrong.

I got betrayed, and stabbed in the back (Julius Cesar kind of thing), multiple times too.

I got good grades and bad grades.

I got into a one-sided “fight,” reassure the fight is not from my side.

I had the chance to work for the very first time in my entire life.

I got to know my twin too.

Unfortunately, I cannot share everything. But here’s what I’ve learned.

First things first, know who you trust.
Trust plays a huge factor in any important kind of ______ship. Know who you surround yourself with, can you bluntly say things out loud, or would the next morning be breaking news for you?

Don’t overthink.
I know that sometimes we can’t help ourselves but overthink things like a million times per second. We need to learn the art of not giving a fuck, and just letting things go. But, don't’ let serious things go, I’m talking about silly and stupid things, stuff that won’t benefit you in any way. Life is too short to waste your brain cells on stupid shit.

Composure.
This took me years to learn how to hold my composure, yet it was worth every sweat and tear. Holding oneself, from emotion to everything is very hard, even though you might mess it up sometimes because you’re a human being, and we make mistakes. But, let me give you a hint, learn how to stay calm, it helps.

The list can go on and on, yet as some of these trending memes say, I still got problems from 2012, but a bitch ain’t one.

2018 have already entered, and for some reason, I don’t feel good about it. But I still gotta stay wide awake and accept or decline things as they are.

One of my resolutions is to read 24 books; I have a blank canvas to fill up.
I guess the second is to be a stronger person, dare to be different.
The third would be to put my work and studies as my priority. 

In the end, I would like to thank my viewers and those who bother to read what I write. Special thanks to those who stood by my side during my breakdowns ( you know yourselves). Thank you too for those who thought they humiliated me ;). Thank you Mom and Dad, and thank you God for everything <3. Thank you 2017 for teaching me a very valid lesson: Try to turn your head back every once in a while, and check how’s the weather there.

A lot of people tend to forget this, due to personal crises issues, is what I think. For me, I see this factor as a significant factor in life, and to be honest, it’s tough to please, but simple things like belief are essential.

Religion is what I want to talk about.

Hold down your horses though; I’m not going to talk about Islam or make any comparison between Abrahamic religions.

The talk is all about believing in God’s existence, believing in your heart and soul, the higher power that even though we can’t see, but we can feel.

Soul
Heart
Brain 
Body

Are the main things here, even though 3 of them are physical, yet one of them is something that we can’t see, but we can feel.

I may look religious, I may sound religion, but I see myself as not.

“ Too halal for haram people, to haram for halal people.” 
I bet you read this somewhere here or there.

For some reason, since I’ve been young, I always tend to be more comfortable to sit with people who believe in God’s existence, even if they follow a different religion or no religion at all.

The whole beliefe just gives relief in my heart, and that what always makes me move forward.

The soul is a very dark matter, it’s like there, but you can’t see it, yet you can feel it. You could tell if someone has a kind soul deep down in them, or not. No matter how much differences we might have, yet when the soul connects, that’s everything you need.

“Always follow your heart.” 

Isn’t that something we always hear?
But what if our hearts are not connected?
What if the brain, heart, soul, and body, do not connect with each other?
Each one of them acts on its own?

Isn’t that something we somehow all suffer from?

That's when for me, the thought of God’s existence gives me solitude.

How about you?

There we are, midterms finished and finals are almost on the doors. I feel humiliated due to the fact that I didn’t post anything till now since I came to Cyprus. I did have the time and everything it’s just that I don't know how to sit and do something.

It’s tough to be motivated, and work on something till the end. With life going on it ups & downs. But, as humans, we always have to keep on thriving and push ourselves forward. It has to come from your heart, with determination, and consistency.

Here is the problem, it’s hard.

It’s tough to keep up with that determination within you, keep focused on one thing till the end. I’ve heard that this is a disease primarily for us designers, or let's say, creative people. You have that one idea in your head, but don’t know how to project it. It’s indeed tough to make a design from scratch and make it into something that can be seen, felt, not even heard. But, in the end whenever you look at your work in its final stages and final project, is probably the happiest moment of our creative life.

Then, the feedback comes, wither you can pull it up, or it can pull you down. But, the bad feedback is what you need in your life, especially if it’s from someone famous in the field. 

This is where the story starts. 

“ your daughter can be on the top of her class if she wants to” - Ms. Ola (Grade 4)

“ your daughter doesn’t need me as her tutor; she just needs to sit and finish her work “ -​​ Ms. Eman (private tutor)

“ I’m shocked, I remembered who you are from your sketches, you’re 1 of the seven people who we see have potential”. -Ms. Naz (first semester)

“you have the talent
you have what it takes
you have the equipment
you are just very unfocused” - 3 of my respected instructors

The same words.
I heard again and again, since the day I was born.

Then questioning myself starts degrading me.
What do they see in me that I can’t see?

Well, I guess one of my attributes is.
If I fall, I rise.
If I stumble, I crawl.
If I failed, I learn.

It will never end here; a project is a project that can either lead you somewhere or sink you deeply.
This where the trick is.

Just because I keep on getting the same feedback over and over again, it doesn't mean I am going to fall. It just honestly pushes me forward into pushing myself more, even if it cost me my own life.

I will prove to myself before convincing myself to anyone; this is my aim, my destination.

​ANGRY 
I am angry I am very angry I am angry at you at society and mostly at myself and if you want to know the Reason why it may take time but I will say few words that may help you understand.
I am sorry that I am angry at you but I can’t help it I can’t help it but  be angry at myself for being angry at you maybe cause I am angry at myself I am angry for been me  for not keeping my Promises 
I couldn’t keep my first  promise ever to my mother that I will be one day the president of the world or for breaking my promise to my love that I will always love her or the one that I told my best friend that we will always be best friends “God have mersy on your soul” and I remember giving a promise to pure soul that one day we will meet again I am sorry “A” I don’t think I can keep this one either and the most thing I am angry about is the society I am angry cause I can’t adapt with my surrounding and that I can’t change my color I am angry at the looks from their eyes toward me and the way they behave next to me  like I am kind of black cheep and  that I am cursed and if they got close to me they will get cursed the same and I am angry that I can’t blame them I choose this life I choose to be me and I am angry that I did 
Did you know that I am angry at the sun I am causing the day my brother died he was up in the sky and it was so bright more than ever been in my life I hated sunshine since that day.
What else I am angry about?? Oh yes I am angry that I was a soldier and that I hold the weapon and thought that I am fighting for something I am angry that I have been used like chess piece and then thrown away and also angry that I couldn’t be a good soldier and couldn’t protect anything or anyone I couldn’t protect my country my family or my friends I watched all burn and did not move.
Maybe now u have Idea why I am that angry and PS ”I am angry for writing this words”


By: Anonymous.

Hello, everyone, I guess it’s been a month since the last time I posted something of my own. I decided to share some of my amazing friend's thoughts because sometimes reading the thoughts of others, heals you secretly inside.

Well, firstly I would love to congratulate those who did hajj, secondly Happy belated Eid. As you can see summer is over for most us, although mine didn’t end yet.

I will hopefully dedicate a whole blog for this summer because I experienced a lot of my “first times”.

But for this blog, it’s going to be for something else. Let’s say this blog is for someone who is very dear to my heart.

Furthermore, please read the words that are spilled from my heart.

I remember vividly the very first time we sat together, although unfortunately, that place closed down for good.
Nevertheless, it holds a lot of memories of ours.
“What do you think of the LGBTQ ?”
As I answered, I know right away that I’ve found her, the person that I’ve always been searching for.
A person who won’t judge me, or judge my thoughts, the thoughts that I’ve kept hiding for too long.
Because I know that I come from a society that is very judgmental just for being different.

Our minds clicked.
We started hanging out.
We enjoyed the silent moments that we shared at our favorite cafe called Gloria.
We were both new to this independent world.
We backed each other up.
And believed in each other.

She was better than me in putting her feelings into words, I guess I always went to her to hear the things that I needed the most. She was there for me.
Her existence alone made me feel safe.
She was my guardian angel.

Thus far, sometimes any friendship can have a quarrel, I selfishly decided that we both need a break to sort our feelings and thoughts out.

I became disoriented.
I was slowly drifting away from my guardian angel. However, she was always on my mind.
I was at Makkah, and as I was doing Duaa.
She popped into my head.

I'm not the sweetest person, in fact, I'm arrogant and very apprehensive.
I like hearing the negativity, and face things head on, call me a violent person. I don’t care.
The only thing I had in my mind was, I need her.
I decided to solve things between us because we both are meant for each other.

We came back stronger than we used to be.
I mean how can you survive without your best friend?
You just can’t.

But.
I stumbled again,
again, and again.

We didn’t fight or any of that sort.

Simply, we don’t hang out as much as we used to do, and that really bothers me. I enjoy our hangouts the most. ( although we literally text each other 24/7 )

Lastly, I would apologize for anything that I’ve ever done that would have bothered you by any chance. I'm really sorry for not saying these words out loud, but you know better than anyone else. I live on by trying to deny my feelings. But I would never deny my feelings towards you.


                                                                                                            Sincerely your friend,    
                                                                                                                     BFF, and sister.
                                                                                                                      Asma Haddad                             

The title can be read as “Bint Trump” and it is Arabic for “Trump’s Daughter”, specifically Ivanka Trump. This hashtag has been internationally a trending topic on twitter in regards to the United States’ president Donald Trump’s visit, along with his daughter and many others from his administration, to Saudi Arabia to attend the Riyadh Summit, which hosted leaders and representatives of 55 Arab and/or Muslim countries and the United States of America apparently.
To cut a long story short, Ivanka Trump has received the official title of assistant to the president.She’s now accompanying her father and his team on his international tour. She is an active business woman and a mother of three. However, when she set foot on the respectful Saudi Arabian lands, she was not spared from social media comments. Twitter users in Saudi Arabia tweeted captions to her photos that were tweeted under the aforementioned hashtag. It was as if Saudi twitter have never seen a female before.

Saudi’s be like #بنت_ترامب : pic.twitter.com/3A4to8Wo2l
— Maryam Albanna (@Maryamiialbanna) May 21, 2017
 
Their eyes :#بنت_ترامب pic.twitter.com/iE9xBlFSHY
— Hasan Sari (@HasanSari7) May 20, 2017

​Now let’s start with the least of our concerns. This is a simple reminder that if people were to imagine this happening to any other random female, it would be considered a form of harassment, and clearly it isn’t any different with Ivanka Trump, the President of the United States of America’s own adult married daughter. Women around the world of all ages, religions, and ethnic backgrounds are condescendingly treated under the justification of their gender. Unfortunately, social media further provides an outlet for such patriarchal concepts to flourish.
Speaking of condescending treatment, Arabs have a long history of continuously  objectifying and belittling their women to their outer appearance with little to no regard of their achievements. Moreover, Arabs have an obsession with the Eurocentric beauty standards that is quite difficult for our Arab genes to put together, not to mention the scorching sun that has kissed our skin from birth. For example, it is well-known that in Arabic culture, a girl of fair skin is most likely to be treated better and experience favouritism over her darker skinned sisters. She tends to be a “product of pride” to her family only because of her skin colour and not because of any particular achievement in school, sports, etc. People’s obsession with the POTUS’s daughter further promotes my argument. All (yes, not most, but all) the comments are about how beautiful, white, hot, and wife-material Ivanka Trump is. It isn’t about how professional and competent she is as a business woman.
Needless to say, the same people who are praising (and by that I mean harassing) Ivanka over her outer beauty are the same patriarchs who oppress, speak over, and cover their women in the name of religion. It’s the very same system that has called out the four Saudi female Olympic players for participating in the 2016 Rio Olympics. This is the culture that claims that the female body belongs to the state, family, and her husband, but never to the female herself. Such oppressive techniques are normalised in this region on our civilized planet in the year of 2017. Ivanka Trump showed up not wearing a headscarf and was respected for it, but God forbids if the Saudi sprinter, Sarah Attar, wanted to race in London and Rio without a headscarf, knowing that she plays in America with shorts and tank tops. People would discuss that Trump is not a Muslim but Attar is, which only strengthens my stand on how the culture is oppressing their people under the name of religion.
As a female who identifies as a Muslim Arab, I believe I am entitled to declare that the men of our culture were indoctrinated by patriarchs from birth. In laymen’s terms, this is what’s wrong with our culture. This is what’s wrong with our society. Calling harassment as the “least of our concerns” above is proper sarcasm because all women’s issues should matter to everyone. Women are not respected for who they are, but for how they look like and how much skin they show. Practicing such behaviours on daily basis has numbed the people’s perspective on how wrong this is. Finally as naively hopeful as that sounds, acknowledging a dire problem is the first step to seeking radical change to help elevate the rank of women in the Arab community.

Published by Nesreen
Your next-door passionate feminist View all posts by Nesreen

“They say home, is where the heart is
but my heart is, wild and free
so am I homeless, or just heartless?

It is believed that all greatest things in life happen unexpectedly, you never predict what turns your world upside down. Our greatest fault is that we think we know what will happen but it has never been that way and it will never be.

I love you, seems about right doesn’t it ? but is it truly what we look for when seeking such emotion?
What if the simple things, things movies and novels don’t highlight, I strongly believe its such things that we should hold on to. Is it possible we have been mislead by all the on screen romance?
Because after a load of experiences, it hits you when you don’t expect it. Its that simple “drive safe”text that made me realize I found home. And after many doubts and long nights of life sucking overthinking I have found home, home is that one person you go back and confide to, home could be the one thing that person says that makes you feel sane even when the world makes you feel like you have lost it, home is the text you get that makes you feel like nothing can break you and that someone actually cares for you in a way a thousand gifts or an I love you would never suffice.

 I found home in her and all the little things she does, one look into her ocean deep eyes are enough to make me invincible and I thank god for her every day I go to sleep knowing what I was blessed with, Home.

Written By: OMN

But you don’t look like you belong here. “
Many years later, after having been told I will always be an outcast in many different ways and languages. Only one thing seemed to always be stuck in my head, where is home?
It became an abstract concept that I no longer had hope in identifying, while everyone around me seemed to be stable about what home is to them, is it family? Is it where you were born? Where you were raised? Where you know most people? All these questions bottled up my head and the powers of overthinking repelled one small thought to one big mess I found myself in.
After years of denial I came to the peak of courage to confront these questions and figure out the answers for myself, and what I found out truly shocked me, I didn’t find answers but I found truth, and truth is never easy to digest.

We were raised in a whole different world than our parents, but they can’t comprehend the knowledge we have and therefore we are blamed for thinking on our own. They pressure us into becoming like them when in reality that’s impossible. And if we dare try to break through the mainstreams they lived on we are considered villains and outcasts that the “internet “has created. When in reality you gave us a great education, how come we are not allowed to use it?
Being from a country and being raised is one another is a whole different loop that complicates the situation a lot more, as a kid you don’t understand politics or jobs, you think about where am I? Who are these people? My education and wide span of knowledge allows me to understand you, but do you understand me?
​
“So here you are
too foreign for home
Too foreign for here
never enough for both”


- to be continued.

Written By:  OMN

For those who have me on my facebook, I believe you guys have already read yesterday’s status, about a very big surprise that will be announced on the 9th of August. Which is today.
Since it means a lot to me, I’ve decided to write a whole blog about it.
I'm really trying to put the time and the maximum effort for this blog. Although I know only a few people read it. I literally know your addresses too….

Here’s the whole story…

It was a very normal day with the family, and just like any family we planned a trip to Taif and went. I was scrolling through my personal IG feed and noticed a post about the makeup company Nars, which says that the brand will start to test on animals due to the fact that they will enter China’s market. It’s obligatory for cosmetics brands in China to test on animals.
It didn’t really matter that much to me, although I am a person that really loves animals, and I really get hurt if anything happened to any kind of it. But, I never really gave it a big thought, and since I ‘am a person that you can call a big carnivore. Meats got to be included in any meal I eat.

Again back to my IG feed, another interesting post that grabbed my attention. It was from Kat Von D, a post with graphic photos of how they test on animals, the results from the tests, and how ashamed she is from Nars.

I couldn’t take it, so I started crying. While I was sobbing my family asked me what’s wrong ? I said about how shocked I am from the photos that I’ve just seen. I showed them the photos, yet my family are carnivores too, to the point where my grandpa is a butcher. My Mom was like, we know that you love animals, but like you still consume them and use Nars products.

I was triggered.

I have always been one of those people who makes fun of vegetarians, and vegans.
I never understood how can people be picky on food.
It never really came to my mind how can they survive without consuming meats, or any animal products.

I was really annoyed from what my mom said, and spoke to my friend about it. He told me that actually rings a bell, didn’t you once say that you would love to be a vegan someday. I was like I said that as a joke, I don’t think I would survive a day, imagine for eternity. He was like okay Asma, I challenge you to go vegan for a month. I said, Woah that’s too much, and it’s really going to be hard for me. Then, I was like I accept the challenge, but instead of Vegan, I will go Vegetarian.

That’s how it all started.
I became vegetarian for a month.
Today is the monthiversary.

The real surprise is, I ‘am planning not to consume meats for eternity.
The month passed by very quickly and I can’t believe that I actually completed the challenge, till the very end.
I'm gonna write in another post, my experience, and pros&cons.

Breathe In...
Breathe Out...
Inhale as much as you can, and let it out as you try to get rid out, of your stress.
Don’t worry, somehow everything will be alright, in a way or another.
Take your hands above your head, inhale as you take your hands to your chest, realize slowly, and just let it sink in, that feeling of relief.
Namaste.

“I waited for something, but something died
So I waited for nothing, and nothing arrived”. Nothing Arrived - Villagers

With all of that anger that resides in us, sometimes the only thing that we need is learning how to release. 
We need to understand that patience is a key, being in our calm state when there’s a hella storm in our lives.
We can try to hide, yet by time, it will bleed.
Slowly anger mixed with sadness will spill over, whether in form of rage or crying.

You might feel so lost, so you will start questioning yourself, what’s the purpose of my life?
Why am I even alive?
Why was I born?

You fall deep into a very uneasy devastated state.
So here’s something that you can do when you can’t go outside or don’t have a job.

Use your imagination in creating the most suitable life, the one you wished and hope for.
Am not saying that you should live in it daily, I am just saying that you can just create an acceptable environment for you to live in.
That’s not an easy task to do, to be honest.
I shouldn’t interfere with your daily life, but it will somehow in a way or another, push you forward, and keep you moving.

You just need to learn how to breathe and have peace with the demons inside of you.

I used to believe
Peace would always be there
Strangers would never stop and stare
Little kids love to share
but then, I learned some more.

I used to believe
People would never be able to fly
Scrapers would never reach the sky
Parents would never have to lie
but then I learned some more.

I used to believe
Its fun to call a short guy an elf
Books were made to stay on the shelf
I would never make something out of myself
but then I learned some more.

I used to believe
Happiness can be bought
Demons are to be fought
Lessons are to be taught
but then I learned some more.

I used to believe
Success is a one way street
Familiar faces would stop and greet
Soulmates are destined to meet
Thank God I learned,

Written By Aziz Shaaban
Based on: Then I Learned Some More by Pat Ingoldsby

That’s the very first thing you hear, the moment when your body betrays you. The heart starts beating so fast, to the point when you start doubting if you might die. Your body starts feeling numb, and your lungs run out of breath. In spite of all of that, you’re not doing any kind of activity. That’s when you notice, it’s actually a panic attack.


“ Everyone recovers at their own pace “ - Tumblr


You go outside that room not knowing or having any sort of idea what happened. Is it because of anxiety? maybe coffee? Or maybe it's just stress? Only God Knows.


Thus far…
“ I could hear the cracks of my soul breaking apart “. - Tumblr


You take a deep breath, you inhale that unclean oxygen. The heart starts beating at a slower pace, you start feeling your body. But, the question is.


Are you really okay?


Ohh hell no. Nobody is ever okay: happy?
Ohh please its just a teaser, a very temporary feeling.
Yet, so is sadness, and many rests of feelings are.


Whereas, we humans are capable of astonishing things, and one of them is: overcoming things.


How come when we cry we feel really sad, but then we feel relief. When something really bad happens, sometimes after we sleep, we wakeup as if nothing happened.


“ No matter how painful your past has been, you have made it through “. - Iyanla Vanzant.


All what I can say is, keep moving forward.

“ Imagine a crap of wood and toss it into a frozen lake. Wait a while, slowly, it will be coated in a thin layer of ice until it is transformed and sparkles as brightly as a diamond. This process is called crystallization. In his book On Love, the nineteenth century French author Stendhal wrote that falling in love works much the same way. At first the object of love appears to be absolutely  perfect, even extraordinary. For Stendhal, the period of crystallization is fleeting, obsessional, and quixotic - a phase during which the object of affection is completely idealized. “ -How to be a Parisian wherever you are.

To be honest when I have bought this book. I thought it was going to be a joke. But, to my surprise I have actually learned a lot. It made me open my eyes to my feelings that I have never said out loud, one of those feelings is love. 

I can’t believe that I’am actually writing a blog about love, since am not the best candidate for it, and its obviously proven in my previous blogs.

When I read that quoted paragraph, the first thought that came to my head is how poetic, beautiful, peaceful love must be. But, in truth it is not. This feeling that is called “ Love” is very idealized, idolized, and overrated. It has always been the talk of everyone, when in the end it has always been “ Love will come in the right time and the right place “.

There’s a song called Can’t Hide for Whethan, Ashe. The lyrics are everything you need to know of what am talking about.

Not everyone you look at is your future love, and just because he/she smiled to you, doesn’t mean that they are your future lovers.

Don’t allow your eyes to indorse your heart with untrue feelings. Not everything you see is true. Because as my teacher said “ One eye sees, the other one feels” - Mahnaz.

You just start living in that imaginary world of yours, but in reality you barely know that person. You don’t even have a single idea probably how she/he even sounds like.

All what you can say is that it was love from first sight, you just fell head over heels for that unknown person. The question is why ?
It’s because you allowed the eye that feels, to feel first. Instead of letting the eye that sees to see first.

When you see things, and people, with one big opened eye. That’s when you use your brain to see things. Because obviously not everything on the outside is as good as on the inside, and vice versa.

Falling in Love is tough, and falling with the wrong person is tougher. 

Well this blog will be continued later. That’s it for now.

Photo courtesy of Asma Haddad.

​

The title speaks for itself, it shows how much each of us should mind his/her own business. Yet, not really, the title doesn't mean it like that, it means that my beliefs are my own.

Indeed, they are my own, only for me, since I have chosen what to believe in. Exactly why do you think that you should lower your head for someone, just because he/she doesn't believe in what you believe in. Why should you stop your beliefs, dreams, aims, and wishes ? Just because someone said that they aren't great. That doesn't mean they are not.

If you actually ask yourself this question on daily basis, you will find yourself giving a different answer on every single day. Each single day is different than the other, don't ever thunk just because you've fallen into one hell of a routine hole, doesn't mean that you are living fully the same days.

"If we all learn to appreciate thing, that world would be a better place "- A.H

Each one of us have something special. some of us tend to find  what they are special in, faster than the others. While some of us tend to never try to know what they are special in.

People, and certain people. Need to learn to have their own special, instead of trying to copy someone's else speciality. Be who you are, and stop trying to be someone else.

Learn to:
Love yourself
Find yourself
Talk to yourself
Learn from yourself
​Believe in yourself.

I know someone who not only copies my room (check how creepy this is), but is trying to (impersonate) my whole personality and being. This is just hella creepy. I pray for her/him.

I never knew I was someone (like an actual someone), until I saw some people who are jealous of me, and those who copy (thank you for making me feel  like an idol :*). This is actually flattering. 

Yeah, that was very egoistic, but it was true.

Anyways, read what I wrote, and never forget to love yourself.

" There are moments in our lives when we summon the courage to make choices that go against reason, against common sense and the wise counsel of people we trust. But we lean forward nonetheless because, despite all risks and rational argument, we believe that the path we are choosing is the right and best thing to do. We refuse to be bystanders, even if we do not know exactly where our actions will lead" - Howard Schultz

​Do you know who Howard Schultz is ?
He's the CEO of Starbucks. Currently I'm reading his book, obviously all those who know me very well, expected ,me to read about him at some point. ( I'm actually writing this while listening to their playlist, on Spotify, check it out ;))

​Now let's go back to what this topic will be about.

In each, and everyone of us. We have something called courage, which is the opposite of fear. Some of us are more courageous, while some others got more fear. Then we have these neutral ones who use their courage when its needed, and fear when its really scary.

One of the things I always love saying to others is " Be resposible for your actions ". Do you remember that moment when you took your courage for that one action, that might go right or wrong ? That adrenalin flowing in and out of your soul.

Every so often, we take the wrong road when we are at our peak of our courage, which the majority of our decisions we make end up badly.

Nevertheless, we still do it. We don't care if it's right or wrong we just do it because we just felt like it. While sometimes because our guts, heart, brain, and senses told us to. We just felt that it was the right thing to do. * sigh* 

Now here's the thing, responsibility.* TA DA*
Can you handle it ?
Are you an adult that can take responsibility for his/her own actions ?
Do you believe in yourself enough, to be taken by words ? 

There's a lot of questions that a person can ask himself/herself, and if you actually visit a bookstore, you will see a lot of books thattalk about decision making. I suggest you to read any book of those self-development ones, e.g the author Dale Carnegie got a variety of such books.

When it comes to my advice, I totally suggest to not take decisions within 3 seconds, I totally insist on asking for time to think about it. The positive and negative sides that can imply on you. You need to know if you can handle them, and believe in it. Will those actions lead you to a great place ? or will they just put you down hill ?

Finally but not lastly, it's all about who you are, and what kind of steps you are taking.
Will those steps make you life so great ? or will it end up so badly ? 
​Ask yourself.

As the Holy Month is about to end, I thought to myself, why don't I blog about it. Ramadan is one of our favorite months for us Muslims, although it may seem as our hardest. Just by saying that we fast from sunrise till sunset alone, seems to be very hard. And when I say fasting, I mean as no food, no water, and no curse words *ugh* . 

Ramadan is the month of discipline, the month to reflect to our sins, and the month that God specifically said that it's for him.

Ramadan is not only to feel how the poor feel starvation, it's to feel, and feed them too. The month that you should give Zakat ( alms-giving ) as Eid ( Muslim Holiday, right after Ramadan ) is approaching.

The month that Muslims read the Quran all over, the month of many prayers, like Taraweh, and Qaim Al-Lail .

This year I welcomed Ramadan while I was having my finals, back in Cyprus. It really felt weird as I was alone, and this was my second time welcoming it all alone.  *missed mama et( and ) papa kteer (so much) :( *  

Yet, this just show much of an adult I have became. *since we are fed everything by a golden spoon, hamdllah*. Although I wouldn't deny that welcoming Ramadan with your family is the best. *God bless them* 

Eid is almost there, and it's a very festive Holiday.
 
I wish for everyone a year full of succes, and prosper.
P.S this is a link that I really like from BuzzFeed, hope you enjoy it too.*press on the BuzzFeed ;)*
Photos courtesy of tumblr.com

DETERMINATION IS NOT A WORD TO BE SAID OR DONE EASILY.

YET, THE MOMENT YOU WILL SEE YOUR RESULTS ARE PAYING OFF. IS THE REAL MOMENT THAT YOU WILL ENJOY FOR LIFE.

WORKING AND ACHIEVING RESULTS, IS WHAT AM CURRENTLY AIMING FOR.

AND WHEN I SAID CURRENTLY, WHAT I MEAN IS THAT IAM THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT HAVE SHORT-TERM GOALS(we will talk about that later on).

SOME OF US GET REALLY DETERMINED THE MOMENT THEY SMELL COFFEE*gasps*, WHILE OTHERS I BELIEVE NEED OTHERS TO PUSH THEM FORWARD.

" Years of hard work, discipline, and determination will make you an overnight success " -David Castillo 

I WILL SHARE A VERY RECENT LIFE EXPERIENCE, THAT HAPPENED LAST SEMESTER.

After I finished my second semester, and my results came out. I realized how much my grades dropped unconditionally, and I went into that stage were I was so in shock. But, I didn't go into depression( although I did slightly ), I went into that determination stage were the only thing I had in my mind was gaining that Honor Status " Dean's List ".
Last semester was the payback for my second, and that's what exactly I've done. I worked my ass off ( excuse the language ) to gain it, and thank GOD, I did. Hamdulilah 

THAT WAS A SHORT EXAMPLE OF SO MANY.

THE QUESTIONS THAT YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF.

• Are you determined enough ?
• Are the people around you helping you up ? or are they pushing you down?
• Are you giving it your all ? ( time e.g) 

DETERMINATION IS BOTH A MENTAL, AND PHYSICAL STATUS.

IN THE END, BE DETERMINED.
IF YOU AREN'T, THEN try.

​Asma

Why does it sound so irrelevant, yet it's very true ? 

It's like you're on a boat, in the middle of the North Pacific Ocean, and you don't know whether you go to Japan, or the US. Two very different countries, different cultures, deferent language, so many different things. * takes a breathe * But in the end you will choose the place were you will find peace of your mind, and heart.

The same thing goes with any word that end with -ship. Friendship, relationship, for me those two are the hardest things to maintain. I really think about it so much before giving it a thing or two, I just can't leave it alone. My heart just starts getting cold, and my mind starts detesting the person. It's a very love, hate type of issue. But, the thing is I don't think that there's anything wrong with me, this is just how we as human function.

Humans tend to always loose interest in things, and in others after some quite time. Those who still maintain their love, and interest in others are the ones who are at wrong. I till now cannot understand how can two people get married, and say till death do us apart. Umm like excuse me, you want me to understand that I will remain like a prisoner just with one person ? *pfft*
How boring is that? Yes, it's very obvious I'm a woman with no commitment, a cold-hearted, and I believe I'm somehow asexual.

There's always that inner thing that tells you not to let go, but deep inside of me I just say * don't act like you care *. Exactly I don't.

In the end, just like a book, it's going to be filled again with words about your previous -ships. ANother life experience, for me it's better off to leave first.